On Goodbyes

Reblogged from Advokat Dyavola:

I remember when I left Russia, I told a friend proshai – farewell. She grew angry and implored me to instead say do svidaniya – until next time. Russians use this as goodbye, like the French say au revoir, or the Italians arrivederci. Proshai carried with it a cold tone of finality that my friend didn’t quite like, though it turned out to be sadly accurate.

Read more… 802 more words

Relation of Father & Daughter In Islam

In the Muslim community especially, this is an issue which has been overlooked, ignored, and generally treated with a sense of discomfort. Particularly amongst immigrant families, the relationship between a father and his daughter(s) is often a distant one; girls are encouraged to spend the most of their time with their mothers and other womenfolk.

A girl might be “Daddy’s Little Princess” as a baby, a toddler, a child, but as she grows closer to puberty she will often find herself left at home instead of taken to the Masjid, attention deflected from her and turned towards her brothers instead (if she has any). Unfortunately, this is a practice which has extremely negative repercussions… for the fathers, the daughters, and indeed the Ummah at large.

The role of a father in his daughter’s life is pivotal: he is the first man in her life; the one who teaches her what he, a male, thinks of her, a female; and thus shapes her sense of self-worth in the eyes of other men; the one whose behaviour and mannerisms will influence her mental image of “the perfect man” and her choice of life partner (i.e. husband).

In Islam as well as in psychology, the father is meant to be the daughter’s guardian, protecting her from harm, teaching her life skills and strong values. Yet despite all this, far too many fathers play a distant, secondary role in their daughter’s lives. There is a misconception that a father is merely the breadwinner, the supporter of the household, that his role is primarily that of financial provider rather than nurturer. After all, isn’t it the mother’s job to raise the children? Isn’t it the mother’s job to teach her daughters what it is to be a girl, a woman?

Yes, it is – but the mother is not a child’s only parent. She is equally the man’s progeny. His genes are present in her DNA, his flesh and blood are hers. When she looks at him, he is seeing a part of himself; in her behaviour is a reflection of his own attitude and mannerisms. How then can any father willingly minimize his role in his daughter’s life?

Mistakes Fathers Make

· Not being actively involved from the beginning (birth). Hold your daughter. Carry her. Change her diapers. You can’t expect to develop a bond between yourself and your child if you don’t make the effort to create it.

· Not getting involved because you think you’re unprepared. Considering that you’ve already had experience with females thanks to your mother/ sister/ wife, you’re not as unprepared as you think you are, so relax.

· Distancing yourself from her as she grows older. Girls become women. They change physically. It’s a fact of life, get used to it. Yes, puberty is uncomfortable for everyone involved, but denying it or ignoring it – or worse, ignoring her – just makes things worse. Nobody’s suggesting that you chat with your daughter about the details of her menstrual cycle, but it’d be a lot more helpful if you grabbed the Tylenol and handed her a hot water bottle instead of walking straight past her when you clearly know that she’s in pain. This is just one example of fathers’ denial about their daughters growing up; in truth, there are many ways that fathers demonstrate distance from their daughters.

· Having little to no physical contact. The idea that hugging, kissing, or having any other positive physical contact with your daughter is “wrong” or “not manly” is absolutely ridiculous. Not only that, but it’s extremely harmful to your daughter’s development as she grows older. Whether your daughter is five or fifteen, both of you should be comfortable enough to turn to each other for a hug (that lasts longer than five seconds) at any time.

· Little to no emotional communication. “Pass the salt” does not qualify as real communication. Make an effort to be involved in your daughter’s everyday life, whether it has to do with school and friends or just how she’s feeling on any given day. Building this bond will create a feeling of security and trust, and your daughter should be able to turn to you for help at times of emotional hurt and conflict.

· Not expressing pride in their daughters. Girls crave their father’s praise and approval just as much as boys do. Nothing can thrill a daughter more than knowing that her father sees his own good qualities in her, that he is really and truly proud of her and her accomplishments.

The greatest, most perfect example of father-daughter relationships can be found in the history of Islam. Has there ever been a father more devoted, a daughter more adoring, than our beloved Messenger (sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and Sayyidah Faatimah az-Zahraa’ (radhiAllahu anha)?
We all know the stories:

Young Faatimah, scarcely ten years old, wiping filth off of her father’s back and furiously berating the leaders of Quraysh for their behaviour.

Faatimah, who used to weep at the sight of dust that was thrown upon her father’s head, and would be comforted with the words “Do not cry, my daughter, for Allah shall protect your father!”

Faatimah, the apple of her father’s eye, of whom he said: “Whoever pleased Fatimah has indeed pleased God and whoever has caused her to be angry has indeed angered God. Fatimah is a part of me. Whatever pleases her pleases me and whatever angers her angers me.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3437; Muslim, 4483)

Noble Faatimah, one of the four greatest women in the world: “The best women in all the world are four: the Virgin Mary, Aasiyaa the wife of Pharoah, Khadijah Mother of the Believers, and Fatimah, daughter of Muhammad.”

Faatimah, of whom A’isha (radhiAllahu anha) commented, “I have not seen any one of God’s creation resemble the Messenger of God more in speech, conversation and manner of sitting than Fatimah, may God be pleased with her. When the Prophet saw her approaching, he would welcome her, stand up and kiss her, take her by the hand and sit her down in the place where he was sitting.”

The entire Muslim Ummah has benefited directly from this unique father-daughter relationship. How many lessons have been derived from the Seerah, from incidents pertaining to this father and to this daughter?! How much knowledge, how much wisdom, was transmitted from father to daughter, and from that daughter to her own sons, al-Hassan and al-Hussein (radhiAllahu anhum)?! Yaa subhanAllah! How can we ever belittle, neglect, forget the importance of such a bond?

O Muslim fathers, will you follow in the footsteps of the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ‘alayi wa sallam)? Will you do what you can to help your daughter become the Faatimah az-Zahraa’ of today?

Please like our page for more amazing video`s and scientific miracles of islam

An open letter to my future daughter

An article from Terfaktab by TheBentPencil

If I ever get married one day *cough,cough*, and have a daughter, I will pick a night with her and talk about love and life.  On that night I shall buy her a scarf, sit by her bedside and tell her this.

“My dear daughter, here is a scarf; wear it.

Now I know you are going to cringe and sulk right now, and you are going to ask why. And you are going to expect me to lecture you about the justification from AnNur word by word, noun by noun. But no, I’m not going to do that. You can pick the Book later, anytime, and read it anywhere. But I will tell you this—wear it because you want to, not because you need to.

My dear daughter,

At one point in your life, you will see your friends in latest trends and fashion. You will see the popular and the pretty, always in their full-faced makeup, tiniest dresses, and colorful tresses. How  they are admired and seemingly loved by many, and you are tempted to follow them.

Don’t.

Wear normal, simple clothes. Dress to cover, not to attract. Use minimal makeup, or none at all if you’re still in school. Don’t buy a brand because of its popularity, or to make yourself proud, but buy it because you need to, because of its quality.

Now you may not get hoardes of admirers by being plain, and you may spend many years loveless and lonely. But don’t fret—those who come to you either bearing friendship or courtship—will be the more precious than diamonds and gold. These are the people who see through all the plain clothes, the long scarves, and the unpainted face—and they see you, the real you.

And one more reason to be plain and unpretty that i need to tell you—it is the secret of persona. If you spent your years breezing through the society–who worships your every word and fulfills your every whim—you will never learn how to build character. You will never learn how to be funny, or smart or talkative to impress people you don’t like, or how to be delegating to navigate difficult people, or how to keep strong when people turn you down; because everybody will always bow down to you.

My dear, remember,

Do not feel afraid to go against the flow. If others are promiscuous, let it pass. If others smoke, let it pass. If others drink, let it pass. Don’t go their way just to be accepted. For being a mindless human is worse than being a lemming following its leader jumping off a cliff. Be who you really are inside, let your personality show, be classy not sexy, be polite but firm. Be friends with everyone, no matter how different they might seem.

And while others couple or engaged or married along the way and you are still single—remember—that God save the best for the last. The truth is nobody is ever alone in this universe. Maybe he is a friend you know, maybe he is not ready because of certain circumstances, maybe his proposal is just around the corner and he’s waiting for the right moment! Sometimes it’s better to wait it out and let the relationship grow than just rush in greedily and regret it later. I do believe the easier they claim of love, the easier it goes away. The hardest one to say love, is the one whom love is the strongest.  It’s like a boulder on the side of the road—the bigger they are, the harder to push.

My dear,

Remember that in the end, it’s the journey that matters, not the finish line. I know things like money, popularity, and puppy love seem important now, but believe me, many years later you will see that it’s just an insignificant bump on the path of life. Money will diminish, clothes will go out of style, popularity will wane, friendships and love comes and goes. Don’t lose who you really are—because when all the existential is gone, only what’s inside that will keep you living.

Sincerely,

Your (future) mom

A Friend Indeed.

Source: A Friend Indeed..

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man couldn’t hear the band – he could see it. In his mind’s eye as the gentleman by th! e window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.

He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

Calories Burned During Exercise, Activities, Sports and Work

Hi! When I was studying for my Hygiene & Epidemiology exam a few days ago, I stumbled upon this website and there’s this particular subject that I like to share here. It’s about the amount of calories you burned after certain sports or activities:

Exercises, sports and activities are listed below, showing calories burned per hour (energy expended) for a 130, 155, 180 or 205 pound person. The amount of calories expended is influenced by many factors, including body weight, intensity of activity, conditioning level and metabolism.

Activity, Exercise or Sport (1 hour)	130 lb	155 lb	180 lb	205 lb
Cycling, mountain bike, bmx	502	598	695	791
Cycling, <10 mph, leisure bicycling	236	281	327	372
Cycling, >20 mph, racing	944	1126	1308	1489
Cycling, 10-11.9 mph, light	354	422	490	558
Cycling, 12-13.9 mph, moderate	472	563	654	745
Cycling, 14-15.9 mph, vigorous	590	704	817	931
Cycling, 16-19 mph, very fast, racing	708	844	981	1117
Unicycling	295	352	409	465
Stationary cycling, very light	177	211	245	279
Stationary cycling, light	325	387	449	512
Stationary cycling, moderate	413	493	572	651
Stationary cycling, vigorous	620	739	858	977
Stationary cycling, very vigorous	738	880	1022	1163
Calisthenics, vigorous, pushups, situps…	472	563	654	745
Calisthenics, light	207	246	286	326
Circuit training, minimal rest	472	563	654	745
Weight lifting, body building, vigorous	354	422	490	558
Weight lifting, light workout	177	211	245	279
Health club exercise	325	387	449	512
Stair machine	531	633	735	838
Rowing machine, light	207	246	286	326
Rowing machine, moderate	413	493	572	651
Rowing machine, vigorous	502	598	695	791
Rowing machine, very vigorous	708	844	981	1117
Ski machine	413	493	572	651
Aerobics, low impact	295	352	409	465
Aerobics, high impact	413	493	572	651
Aerobics, step aerobics	502	598	695	791
Aerobics, general	384	457	531	605
Jazzercise	354	422	490	558
Stretching, hatha yoga	236	281	327	372
Mild stretching	148	176	204	233
Instructing aerobic class	354	422	490	558
Water aerobics	236	281	327	372
Ballet, twist, jazz, tap	266	317	368	419
Ballroom dancing, slow	177	211	245	279
Ballroom dancing, fast	325	387	449	512
Running, 5 mph (12 minute mile)	472	563	654	745
Running, 5.2 mph (11.5 minute mile)	531	633	735	838
Running, 6 mph (10 min mile)	590	704	817	931
Running, 6.7 mph (9 min mile)	649	774	899	1024
Running, 7 mph (8.5 min mile)	679	809	940	1070
Running, 7.5mph (8 min mile)	738	880	1022	1163
Running, 8 mph (7.5 min mile)	797	950	1103	1256
Running, 8.6 mph (7 min mile)	826	985	1144	1303
Running, 9 mph (6.5 min mile)	885	1056	1226	1396
Running, 10 mph (6 min mile)	944	1126	1308	1489
Running, 10.9 mph (5.5 min mile)	1062	1267	1471	1675
Running, cross country	531	633	735	838
Running, general	472	563	654	745
Running, on a track, team practice	590	704	817	931
Running, stairs, up	885	1056	1226	1396
Track and field (shot, discus)	236	281	327	372
Track and field (high jump, pole vault)	354	422	490	558
Track and field (hurdles)	590	704	817	931
Archery	207	246	286	326
Badminton	266	317	368	419
Basketball game, competitive	472	563	654	745
Playing basketball, non game	354	422	490	558
Basketball, officiating	413	493	572	651
Basketball, shooting baskets	266	317	368	419
Basketball, wheelchair	384	457	531	605
Running, training, pushing wheelchair	472	563	654	745
Billiards	148	176	204	233
Bowling	177	211	245	279
Boxing, in ring	708	844	981	1117
Boxing, punching bag	354	422	490	558
Boxing, sparring	531	633	735	838
Coaching: football, basketball, soccer…	236	281	327	372
Cricket (batting, bowling)	295	352	409	465
Croquet	148	176	204	233
Curling	236	281	327	372
Darts (wall or lawn)	148	176	204	233
Fencing	354	422	490	558
Football, competitive	531	633	735	838
Football, touch, flag, general	472	563	654	745
Football or baseball, playing catch	148	176	204	233
Frisbee playing, general	177	211	245	279
Frisbee, ultimate frisbee	472	563	654	745
Golf, general	266	317	368	419
Golf, walking and carrying clubs	266	317	368	419
Golf, driving range	177	211	245	279
Golf, miniature golf	177	211	245	279
Golf, walking and pulling clubs	254	303	351	400
Golf, using power cart	207	246	286	326
Gymnastics	236	281	327	372
Hacky sack	236	281	327	372
Handball	708	844	981	1117
Handball, team	472	563	654	745
Hockey, field hockey	472	563	654	745
Hockey, ice hockey	472	563	654	745
Riding a horse, general	236	281	327	372
Horesback riding, saddling horse	207	246	286	326
Horseback riding, grooming horse	207	246	286	326
Horseback riding, trotting	384	457	531	605
Horseback riding, walking	148	176	204	233
Horse racing, galloping	472	563	654	745
Horse grooming, moderate	354	422	490	558
Horseshoe pitching	177	211	245	279
Jai alai	708	844	981	1117
Martial arts, judo, karate, jujitsu	590	704	817	931
Martial arts, kick boxing	590	704	817	931
Martial arts, tae kwan do	590	704	817	931
Krav maga training	590	704	817	931
Juggling	236	281	327	372
Kickball	413	493	572	651
Lacrosse	472	563	654	745
Orienteering	531	633	735	838
Playing paddleball	354	422	490	558
Paddleball, competitive	590	704	817	931
Polo	472	563	654	745
Racquetball, competitive	590	704	817	931
Playing racquetball	413	493	572	651
Rock climbing, ascending rock	649	774	899	1024
Rock climbing, rappelling	472	563	654	745
Jumping rope, fast	708	844	981	1117
Jumping rope, moderate	590	704	817	931
Jumping rope, slow	472	563	654	745
Rugby	590	704	817	931
Shuffleboard, lawn bowling	177	211	245	279
Skateboarding	295	352	409	465
Roller skating	413	493	572	651
Roller blading, in-line skating	708	844	981	1117
Sky diving	177	211	245	279
Soccer, competitive	590	704	817	931
Playing soccer	413	493	572	651
Softball or baseball	295	352	409	465
Softball, officiating	236	281	327	372
Softball, pitching	354	422	490	558
Squash	708	844	981	1117
Table tennis, ping pong	236	281	327	372
Tai chi	236	281	327	372
Playing tennis	413	493	572	651
Tennis, doubles	354	422	490	558
Tennis, singles	472	563	654	745
Trampoline	207	246	286	326
Volleyball, competitive	472	563	654	745
Playing volleyball	177	211	245	279
Volleyball, beach	472	563	654	745
Wrestling	354	422	490	558
Wallyball	413	493	572	651
Backpacking, Hiking with pack	413	493	572	651
Carrying infant, level ground	207	246	286	326
Carrying infant, upstairs	295	352	409	465
Carrying 16 to 24 lbs, upstairs	354	422	490	558
Carrying 25 to 49 lbs, upstairs	472	563	654	745
Standing, playing with children, light	165	197	229	261
Walk/run, playing with children, moderate	236	281	327	372
Walk/run, playing with children, vigorous	295	352	409	465
Carrying small children	177	211	245	279
Loading, unloading car	177	211	245	279
Climbing hills, carrying up to 9 lbs	413	493	572	651
Climbing hills, carrying 10 to 20 lb	443	528	613	698
Climbing hills, carrying 21 to 42 lb	472	563	654	745
Climbing hills, carrying over 42 lb	531	633	735	838
Walking downstairs	177	211	245	279
Hiking, cross country	354	422	490	558
Bird watching	148	176	204	233
Marching, rapidly, military	384	457	531	605
Children’s games, hopscotch, dodgeball	295	352	409	465
Pushing stroller or walking with children	148	176	204	233
Pushing a wheelchair	236	281	327	372
Race walking	384	457	531	605
Rock climbing, mountain climbing	472	563	654	745
Walking using crutches	295	352	409	465
Walking the dog	177	211	245	279
Walking, under 2.0 mph, very slow	118	141	163	186
Walking 2.0 mph, slow	148	176	204	233
Walking 2.5 mph	177	211	245	279
Walking 3.0 mph, moderate	195	232	270	307
Walking 3.5 mph, brisk pace	224	267	311	354
Walking 3.5 mph, uphill	354	422	490	558
Walking 4.0 mph, very brisk	295	352	409	465
Walking 4.5 mph	372	443	515	586
Walking 5.0 mph	472	563	654	745
Boating, power, speed boat	148	176	204	233
Canoeing, camping trip	236	281	327	372
Canoeing, rowing, light	177	211	245	279
Canoeing, rowing, moderate	413	493	572	651
Canoeing, rowing, vigorous	708	844	981	1117
Crew, sculling, rowing, competition	708	844	981	1117
Kayaking	295	352	409	465
Paddle boat	236	281	327	372
Windsurfing, sailing	177	211	245	279
Sailing, competition	295	352	409	465
Sailing, yachting, ocean sailing	177	211	245	279
Skiing, water skiing	354	422	490	558
Ski mobiling	413	493	572	651
Skin diving, fast	944	1126	1308	1489
Skin diving, moderate	738	880	1022	1163
Skin diving, scuba diving	413	493	572	651
Snorkeling	295	352	409	465
Surfing, body surfing or board surfing	177	211	245	279
Whitewater rafting, kayaking, canoeing	295	352	409	465
Swimming laps, freestyle, fast	590	704	817	931
Swimming laps, freestyle, slow	413	493	572	651
Swimming backstroke	413	493	572	651
Swimming breaststroke	590	704	817	931
Swimming butterfly	649	774	899	1024
Swimming leisurely, not laps	354	422	490	558
Swimming sidestroke	472	563	654	745
Swimming synchronized	472	563	654	745
Swimming, treading water, fast, vigorous	590	704	817	931
Swimming, treading water, moderate	236	281	327	372
Water aerobics, water calisthenics	236	281	327	372
Water polo	590	704	817	931
Water volleyball	177	211	245	279
Water jogging	472	563	654	745
Diving, springboard or platform	177	211	245	279
Ice skating, < 9 mph	325	387	449	512
Ice skating, average speed	413	493	572	651
Ice skating, rapidly	531	633	735	838
Speed skating, ice, competitive	885	1056	1226	1396
Cross country snow skiing, slow	413	493	572	651
Cross country skiing, moderate	472	563	654	745
Cross country skiing, vigorous	531	633	735	838
Cross country skiing, racing	826	985	1144	1303
Cross country skiing, uphill	974	1161	1348	1536
Snow skiing, downhill skiing, light	295	352	409	465
Downhill snow skiing, moderate	354	422	490	558
Downhill snow skiing, racing	472	563	654	745
Sledding, tobagganing, luge	413	493	572	651
Snow shoeing	472	563	654	745
Snowmobiling	207	246	286	326
General housework	207	246	286	326
Cleaning gutters	295	352	409	465
Painting	266	317	368	419
Sit, playing with animals	148	176	204	233
Walk / run, playing with animals	236	281	327	372
Bathing dog	207	246	286	326
Mowing lawn, walk, power mower	325	387	449	512
Mowing lawn, riding mower	148	176	204	233
Walking, snow blower	207	246	286	326
Riding, snow blower	177	211	245	279
Shoveling snow by hand	354	422	490	558
Raking lawn	254	303	351	400
Gardening, general	236	281	327	372
Bagging grass, leaves	236	281	327	372
Watering lawn or garden	89	106	123	140
Weeding, cultivating garden	266	317	368	419
Carpentry, general	207	246	286	326
Carrying heavy loads	472	563	654	745
Carrying moderate loads upstairs	472	563	654	745
General cleaning	207	246	286	326
Cleaning, dusting	148	176	204	233
Taking out trash	177	211	245	279
Walking, pushing a wheelchair	236	281	327	372
Teach physical education,exercise class	236	281	327	372
Teach exercise classes (& participate)	384	457	531	605

 

Source: NutriStrategy